My mom is driving me insane

I'm twenty months now and every time I try to do something she's always saying No no Patrick. Put that down Patrick. For once, just for once I wish she'd let me get into mischief. I went to school last week when my Auntie Kate was sick, and you know what they said to me? They told me not to eat my crayons. I'll tell you this, being a toddler is hard work. I have to take naps. I have to eat vegetables. I can't eat crayons, I can't climb on the oven door, and every time I try to help unload the dishwasher, mommy locks me out and empties the only rack I can reach before letting me back in.

Not to mention, when we were in Carmel, my mom came up with this torture method of letting me scream it out. Now I have to go to bed every night by myself at 8:30. It's SOOOOO NOT FAIR. I can't wait to grow up.